EDIT: I will be doing an updated version later this week to include athletes that I admittedly missed. I’ll be posting it on twitter, so follow me.
Here are the most entertaining athletes on twitter. Wittiness, consistency, and personality among other things were taken into account when ranking each athlete.
As you will see, retired athletes were also eligible. Sample tweets are included. Only verified athletes were taken into consideration, so college athletes were not eligible.
Feel free to follow me as well. Follow @colinmeans
Did I miss anyone? Comment and let me know.
1. Jose Canseco (Retired Baseball Player)
I am now painting donald trump
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 6, 2013
2. JaVale McGee (Denver Nuggets)
RT @javalemcgee34 SHE SAID HER DADDY TOLD HER TO B SEEN NOT HEARD! #TRILL
— JaVale McGee (@JaValeMcGee34) March 10, 2013
3. Kobe Bryant (Los Angeles Lakers)
Amnesty THAT
— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) February 24, 2013
4. Brandon McCarthy (Arizona Diamondbacks)
Considering they have to sell cupped bacteria that helps women poop, I’d say Activia’s ad execs are doing an admirable job.
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) March 10, 2013
5. Brett Anderson (Oakland A’s)
I bet Vernon Wells paid for the tickets out of those two.
— Brett Anderson (@BrettAnderson49) March 10, 2013
6. Lolo Jones (Olympian Hurdler)
Clipped my toenails, YES OK I sniffed them
— Lolo Jones (@lolojones) March 9, 2013
7. Kendall Marshall (Phoenix Suns)
That inner fight you have w/ yourself when you see someone chasing the bus. *tell the bus driver or continue to enjoy watchin them run*
— Kendall Marshall (@KButter5) March 10, 2013
8. J.R. Smith (New York Knicks)
U ugly as hell get ya face out icon RT @jordanperry23: @therealjrsmith another city for you to choke in!
— JR Smith (@TheRealJRSmith) March 4, 2013
9. Tony Allen (Memphis Grizzlies)
Sorry world/ excuse me / I got this Black berry! And trying 2 find out the Correct time!!
— Tony Allen (@aa000G9) March 10, 2013
10. Paul Bissonette (Phoenix Coyotes)
If I had a dollar for every 3 game point streak I’ve had in the NHL I’d have 1 dollar.
— Paul Bissonnette (@BizNasty2point0) March 5, 2013
11. Logan Morrison (Miami Marlins)
Dear Popeyes, I have lived in Louisiana. Your slogan “Louisiana fast” is an oxymoron.
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) March 6, 2013
12. Chad Ochocinco (NFL Free Agent)
How long are you supposed to boil eggs before taking them out the hot water?
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) March 10, 2013
13. Shane Battier (Miami Heat)
And it feels good. Drink it in good people. May not see it again RT @shotime40: Let it be known. On 2/4/13 @shanebattier dunked a basketball
— Shane Battier (@ShaneBattier) February 5, 2013
14. Chris Kluwe (Minnesota Vikings)
I’ve seen things coming out of my nose today, man, it’s like I don’t even believe in anything anymore. Nietzsche was right. #sinusabyss
— Chris Kluwe (@ChrisWarcraft) March 12, 2013
15. C.J. Wilson (Los Angeles Angels)
More like WingDings RT @decker6: Nicki Minaj is Comic sans real life….
— C.J. Wilson (@str8edgeracer) March 5, 2013
16. Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packers)
I see ur squad #shaq, and I counter with #vlade, pollard, and Lawrence funderburke. #nbaontnt#cowbells#3on3#kings
— Aaron Rodgers (@AaronRodgers12) March 8, 2013
17. David Price (Tampa Bay Rays)
I could most definitely get a hit off you….RT @davidirwin92: @davidprice14 I could get a hit off of you.
— David Price (@DAVIDprice14) March 11, 2013
18. Andre Iguodala (Denver Nuggets)
That was “ballsy”considering all the cameras everywhere…
— Andre Iguodala (@andre) March 3, 2013
19. Roy Hibbert (Indiana Pacers)
The Governor is one BMF! In the comics I mean. He’s pretty tame in the show.
— Roy Hibbert (@Hoya2aPacer) March 6, 2013
20. Ryan Lochte (Olympic Swimmer)
. @kendricklamar your coming into Gainesville tonight. Ill be here. Hit me up when you get in
— Ryan Lochte (@ryanlochte) February 25, 2013
21. Ron Artest (Los Angeles Lakers)
I do it for my fam, I do it for my fans, I do it for my team, I do it for my hood, I do it #ForYou
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) March 8, 2013
22. Dirk Nowitzki (Dallas Mavericks)
He gone
— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) February 4, 2013
23. Andy Roddick (Retired Tennis Player)
Buddy and I walk into a to go restaurant and ask for one item to go (tomato soup).Lady at register asks if we’re paying together or separate
— andyroddick (@andyroddick) March 11, 2013
24. Ryan Whitney (Edmonton Oilers)
Just finished Silver Linings Playbook. Really liked it. Did I read some clowns say Jennifer Lawrence didnt look that hot in the movie? WTF!?
— Ryan Whitney (@ryanwhitney6) March 3, 2013
25. Darnell Dockett (Arizona Cardinals)
Damn I drunk a red bull and can’t go to sleep ???????????????? hmmm I think I’m gonna turn my stero up loud and wake my neighbor! ???? Damn I’m hungry
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) February 6, 2013
26. Kevin Durant (Oklahoma City Thunder)
Im not nice RT @ry4n_smith: @kdtrey5 whats with all the technicals so far this season??
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) March 6, 2013
27. Brandon Belt (San Francisco Giants)
I want to compliment you @channingtatum, you got a rockin bod in Magic Mike #winkyface
— Brandon Belt (@bbelt9) March 7, 2013
28. Justin Durant (Detroit Lions)
Swag RT @jenniferwalker: @jdurant52 and that’s why this English teacher has subscribed to your tweets. I support educated athletes!!
— Justin Durant (@JDurant52) March 11, 2013
29. Blake Griffin (Los Angeles Clippers)
Kid Blake: Who are you? Future Blake: you from the future… Don’t listen to anything else I’ve told you just start wearing a cup.
— Blake Griffin (@blakegriffin32) March 6, 2013
30. Chandler Parsons (Houston Rockets)
“@katharineclarkk: @chandlerparsons can you twerk??” With the best of them
— Chandler Parsons (@ChandlerParsons) March 8, 2013
31. LeBron James (Miami Heat)
Jennifer Lawrence is AWESOME!!
— LeBron James (@KingJames) February 26, 2013
32. Kevin Love (Minnesota Timberwolves)
Glad that both coaches @jharden13 and @russwest44 decided to wear prescription glasses tonight #sprintceleb
— Kevin Love (@kevinlove) February 15, 2013
33. Sam Gagner (Edmonton Oilers)
Looks like some of the Canadian baseball players were dual-sport athletes. Grabbing jerseys, chuckin’ over the top.Great passion. #WBC
— Sam Gagner (@89SGagner) March 10, 2013
34. Matt Frattin (Toronto Maple Leafs)
Does Dustin Hoffman go tanning? #oompaloompa #oscars2013 #takeiteasy
— Matt Frattin (@Matt_Frattin) February 25, 2013
35. Jay Feely (Arizona Cardinals)
No questionit’s @barryenright45RT @gingerproblems: Who’s your favorite ginger of all time? Tell us. We seriously want to know
— Jay Feely (@jayfeely) March 5, 2013
36. Adam Jones (Baltimore Orioles)
We had the Wright man up at the Wright time.
— Adam Jones (@SimplyAJ10) March 10, 2013
37. Jared Dudley (Phoenix Suns)
Tell me why I have these Laker fans hitting me up thanking me that we beat the Rockets lol.. I don’t want y’all making the playoffs lol
— Jared Dudley (@JaredDudley619) March 10, 2013
38. Joakim Noah (Chicago Bulls)
Ya Trop de bla bla
— Joakim Noah (@JoakimNoah) March 3, 2013
39. Andray Blatche (Brooklyn Nets)
Come on texans I’m the only one n the locker room who believe
— andray blatche (@drayblatche) January 13, 2013
40. Kim English (Detroit Pistons)
I tried to type “collaboration” in a text. And iPhone auto-correct tried to make me say “Colangelo”. My phone has the mind of a hooper.
— Kim English (@Englishscope24) March 10, 2013
41. T.J. Lang (Green Bay Packers)
Imagine if football was like hockey.. Dudes just squaring up at mid field non stop… Except @jsitton71.. He’s a b*tch
— TJ Lang (@TJLang70) March 8, 2013
42. Andrew Bogut (Golden State Warriors)
Just saw the video, didnt notice it when I was in the game. In saying so Dragic really needs to work on his Taekwondo skills.Good night all!
— Andrew Bogut (@andrewbogut) February 3, 2013
43. Matt Barnes (Los Angeles Clippers)
So if I would have back handed Ibaka, I would have been the only one to get suspended right??????????????????????????
— Matt Barnes (@Matt_Barnes22) March 5, 2013
44. Jordan Crawford (Boston Celtics)
Why da new school celebrate after every basket dey score? “Hoss you never got a bucket before?”
— Jordan Crawford (@jcraw55) February 28, 2013
45. Brandon Phillips (Cincinnati Reds)
#WellDAMN… And people said that the @wbcbaseball wasn’t taken seriously WOWWWW!!! #RumbleInTheDesert
— Brandon Phillips (@DatDudeBP) March 9, 2013
46. Mike Napoli (Boston Red Sox)
2chainzzRT @middlebrooks: What pandora stations should I listen to on the way to Jupiter…. I’m on a bus not a space ship. Don’t get smart.
— Mike Napoli (@MikeNapoli25) March 11, 2013
47. Novak Djokovic (Tennis Player)
Thank you ladies for all your support, ideas and contribution so this world would become a better place 4 us all
say.ly/hye5khC
— Novak Djokovic (@DjokerNole) March 8, 2013
48. Nick Young (Philadelphia 76ers)
Lol they runnin RT @comptonassken: @nickswagypyoung you havent fought Mike Tyson yet. Hahaha you said you’d hit him dead in that tattoo ????????
— Nick Young (@NickSwagyPYoung) March 10, 2013
49. Blake Wheeler (Winnipeg Jets)
@percy_harvin beat it
— Blake Wheeler (@BiggieFunke) March 11, 2013
50. Jason Hatcher (Dallas Cowboys)
This yoga is about to kick my ask. LOL
— Jason Hatcher (@hatcher97) March 7, 2013
